Your Family Is Your First Ministry—Happy Mother’s Day
Author : Kaitlin Haines
On Mother’s Day in 2021, my perspective on motherhood was truly changed. I got up and went to church like every other Sunday, but this one was different. Tired, makeup done, and about 7 months pregnant, I walked into a women’s breakfast held to honor the mama’s at church. Part of that breakfast was hearing one of the women in our church speak.
As I sat there, I listened pretty closely because I knew that for the first time, I was walking into a new season of life that would change everything. As she spoke, I heard her say one thing that genuinely spoke so deeply to my heart – “Your family is your ministry.”
She proceeded to speak about how it is so easy to get caught up in other areas of your life - your career, wanting to do things for yourself, discipling other people, wanting to get involved in serving God in other ministries. While all these things are beautiful and can all be used for His glory, your family must be first.
My family is first.
At the time, not only was I pregnant for the first time, but was going through a major identity crisis. I was terrified of being a mom, while also being so excited. The anxiety that would hit me some days was like something I had never experienced before. I was taking on a major personality change that the Lord was completely and wholly directing. I was working full-time as a wedding photographer and loved it, but had no idea how I was going to continue being full-time after having a baby. And I was pursuing a ministry with my best friend in the creative community that we desperately wanted to touch lives of people all over the world.
There was a lot going on in my head–lots of dreams and desires for my life–at the time about the future. But that day, in those simple words, it all clicked. All of a sudden, I knew my purpose. It wasn’t reaching thousands of creative women across the world, though maybe I might do that some day. It wasn’t photographing random, beautiful people on mountaintops world-wide, though that could be something I do for a while. My true purpose wasn’t wrapped up in the dreams and career-path I was planning for myself.
It was simply, my family.
My heart posture did a complete 360 that day. It suddenly became so apparent that in this season of my life, it was time to back up and look at what was right in front of me. God had given me this precious child and he was going to be my full-time job. And I don’t just mean taking care of him, feeding him, and playing with him. I mean that spiritually, he was going to be my full-time job.
It was like all the dreams, desires, and current workload settled into the lowest part of my priority list, where they used to be at the very top. Those things had defined who I was and who I wanted to be.
But God…
He always knows what he is doing. In this life, we are called to many things. We carry gifts and talents that can take us so many places. But one of the most important things that many of us carry as Christian women, is our call to raise tiny humans.
Raising tiny disciples.
Proverbs 22:6 tells us, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” And Matthew 28:19-20a says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all I have commanded you.”
Suddenly, my heart was no longer to only encourage women through social media and through a ministry. It was no longer about my career and how far I could go. It was no longer all about how I could serve my selfish desires. My mind was renewed to know that my calling is to take this beautiful child that the Lord placed inside of me, and raise Him to know Jesus. To be a disciple.
Being a mom is such a beautiful honor. There are so many hard parts to it. But it is so important for us to remember that in every action, word, tantrum, snack time, bed-time story–there is purpose. Every moment is an opportunity to show our children Jesus.
Since the day my baby boy was born, I have made it my mission to honor the Lord by doing my absolute best in raising tiny disciples. It’s never perfect. I screw up. I miss moments to show them His character because of my own flaws and human nature. I get flustered. I lack patience. But then, I often recognize those moments. I apologize. I ask forgiveness. I pray with them. I explain why mommy messed up. And it’s funny, even those moments where it doesn’t look perfect can still be used to point our children to Jesus.
So, mama. My encouragement to you is simply this : your family is your first ministry.
You must live from a place of knowing that every moment has purpose in pointing our kids to Jesus. That with every bed-time Bible story, every apology that comes after raising your voice, every moment when you look down and see your answered prayers sitting in front of you playing, every argument you break up between siblings, every time you must explain why you feel sad today, every moment. Jesus is in the midst of our parenting. And we can always redirect our thoughts to Him to allow us to train them up in the way they should go.
The other things can often wait. “No” is a full sentence. Sometimes we have to say no, disagree, and make hard decisions–even personal sacrifices–to prioritize our families as our first ministry. And that’s okay.
Always remember that the same grace you are able to show your children, is the grace that covers you every single day. You are so deeply loved, called, seen, known, and chosen to raise beautiful children for His glory.
He will equip and renew you to do the hard work of raising disciples as you tend to your own relationship with Him. Spend time in His word. Pray for your kids, your parenting, your husband. These things matter.
Live from His grace. His freedom. The victory that Jesus is on the throne and that you are raising world changers for the Kingdom.