When The Feelings Are Heavy & The Doing Is Exhausting
Author : Kaitlin Haines
The Lord is so intentional.
The other day, I was listening to a podcast episode by someone I admire, and she dropped a random passage of scripture that she has been living by in her current season of life. She didn’t quote it, she just simply mentioned Romans 12.
Something about me is that I ALWAYS find myself remembering things like that days later. I often open my bible wondering, “what do I read today?” And the Holy Spirit quietly reminds me of the scripture I recently heard about. So, I get curious and open up the passage. And 100% of the times I have done this, it is exactly what I needed to hear.
So, today, that is what I did. And boy was it GOOD. So good, in fact, that I have to share what He is teaching me as I am reading. So, let’s learn together, shall we?
Romans 12:1-2 says, “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
To be honest, the ENTIRE chapter had me saying, “YESSSS SO GOOD GO OFF!!!” But I think I would be here forever if I walked you through all my thoughts. So, instead, I want to focus on verses 1 & 2 because my goodness, it was exactly what I needed.
Why this matters to me:
Lately, I have been FEELING a lot. I have been feeling all the feelings. I am really up one day, really down the next. The feelings are strong, difficult, and often come from complex thoughts and the spiritual warfare happening in my mind. I have also been asking the question a lot, “What do I do? What am I supposed to be doing? What does the Lord want me to do? Do I sit and wait? Do I do this or that?” as a way to distract from the feelings.
I have been focused on the feeling and the doing SO much that being has been nonexistent. Being present, being in the word, being a wife and mom, being a daughter created with purpose — all because I am focused on my feelings and concentrating on what I am doing or not doing, and if it’s good enough. I get so caught up in the performance and how I feel about everything, that my identity has suddenly shifted from who I am to what I do and how it makes me feel.
Cue Romans 12
As I read that we are supposed to give our bodies as a living sacrifice alongside the Enduring Word Commentary, something that stood out to me was that I am supposed to give my entire SELF, not just my work (the doing). And whewwwww did that hit hard. So often, I get so engulfed in the work that I forget to bring the rest of myself to the altar—my mind, my heart, my soul. Somehow each of those things gets left behind and all I bring with me is the work.
After so long of forgetting to bring my whole self to the altar and working so hard, it is no wonder that I FEEL exhausted, overwhelmed, out of purpose. I am wearing myself down trying to do the work that can never be produced without bringing my heart, mind, and soul along with it. True kingdom work doesn’t come from what I can do; true kingdom work is produced by the renewal of my mind and transformation of my heart through the Lord’s enabling.
I must GIVE my entire self, not just my work.
I must give my heart, soul, and mind. There is a deep tension in the mind between conforming to this world and being transformed with the renewal of your mind. Spiritual warfare is very real, and its battleground is found in the mind. While the heart must have a posture of awe, humility, reverence to, and love of the Father, the mind must be founded on the rich truth found in the Word.
Daily living for your feelings or what you’re doing is living a life that ignores the renewing of the mind. Living for these things will result in crumbling in the face of the enemy. As a matter of fact, living based on your feelings and your work is EXACTLY where Satan wants you. Because when the foundation of our minds is not set on the Truth of the Word, he knows that you will be susceptible to being conformed to this world. To his broken world. He wants you broken—unable to feel the freedom that comes with the biblical transformation of your mind.
Taking thoughts captive
2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Our feelings and how we react to them so often begin with our thoughts. A thought may cross your mind that is a lie from the enemy, but if you do not know the truth to combat that lie, it can take up residence in your mind, leading to negative feelings that lead to forgetting who you are and suddenly acting in a way that you wouldn’t if you were standing on the foundation of scripture.
In simple terms : Lie —> Negative Feelings —> Acting out of emotion & using work to distract from the feeling —> Complete crumbling
This is why it is so important to know TRUTH. What is truth and how do we know it?
The WORD.
As Jesus prays in John 17, he says, “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” The Word is truth. When we open our bibles, we can believe every single word on every single page because it was God-breathed and written with YOU in mind. When he spoke every word, He knew His people were going to need every word on the pages. Staying in the truth and storing it in our hearts us what helps us resist the flesh and be a holy and living sacrifice. It is what gives us the ability to fight the lies. With every lie that comes to the mind, there is a truth found in the Word of God that was made to fight against it.
When we take thoughts captive : Lie —> Truth to fight the Lie —> Peace & belief that God keeps His promises & your identity and trust is in Him
When we spend time in the Word, know truth, take thoughts captive, and live in the strength of the foundation of the Word, we can resist the fleshly desire to be conformed to this broken world and instead, be transformed by the renewing of our minds—giving us the freedom to bring our entire selves to the Lord’s altar, rather than just the work that leaves us feeling empty. When we choose to give our whole selves, He can do with us what He wills. He can make us look more like himself. And there will be a peace that allows us to not be a slave to the feelings or the doing — but a servant working in the heart of Christ for His Kingdom.
Are you abiding in the Word? Are you dwelling with Him in secret? His truth shouldn’t only be read, but meditated on, prayed over, and stored in your heart.
So, friend. If you find yourself going through the motions of working and doing and feeling heavy, take a minute to pray. Ask the Lord to reveal why you feel the way you do. Take a moment to evaluate if you’re bringing your whole self to the altar. If you’re only bringing a part of yourself, you aren’t truly giving Him the worship He deserves.
He can do so much more with your whole being than you can ever imagine. But you must surrender. You must choose to be a living sacrifice and remember that your foundation must be on His Truth.
Otherwise, you’re giving the enemy exactly what he wants.
You are more than a conquerer in Christ Jesus, my friend.
Live from that victory. Let the work come from the outpouring of the Holy Spirit in your life. Abide in His WORD.
I want to leave you with Psalm 91. A word of truth for you to store in your heart today:
Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
We love you, friend!